no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
