My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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