how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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