Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We got so high we made milksteak
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
