If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
