just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
