Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
