Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I lost the right to judge tonight
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
