Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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