he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
