so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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