He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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