I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
