It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
