The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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