You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
