Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
