Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
