We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
