Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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