The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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