did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
