It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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