Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I believe in your delicious
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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