she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
