big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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