Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
