Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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