Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
