He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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