The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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