last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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