so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
