I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Randomize
