I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I wear drunk well.
Randomize