Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
