Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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