Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
i think my cat just said my name.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
