Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
