There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
