Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
