just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
