When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
