Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
