just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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