break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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