If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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