She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
