my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
