thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize