even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
