Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
