This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
