smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
