Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
