what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
